Butcher of Me Street

Yesterday I went and got the most awful haircut of my life.

I told the lady cutting my hair that I wanted it short on the back & sides and a little bit longer on top, and maybe a little spiky to compensate for the thinning that's going on up there.

Unfortunately, all she heard was "short" and "spiky," so when I got down off the chair I looked like a cross between Pin Head and a Chia Pet.

"There," she said. "That's MUCH better."

I looked in the mirror and was horrified, but at that point what could I do?

I think the problem was that this lady was distracted by chit-chat as she cut my hair. Normally, I don't like to chit-chat with my barber for this very reason but, it being Christmas and all, she had a lot to go on about. Also, I have to take my glasses off when getting a haircut which means that I can't see more than 6" past my nose, and therefore can't look in the mirror to say "stop cutting for God's sake! This isn't the bleeping Marine Corps!"

Anyway, I didn't have a fit or even say anything cross. I just gave her a nice tip and said thank you very much before rushing home and immediately putting a hat on.

The moral of this story is; don't talk to your barber, ever, even during the holidays.

Top 10 movie weapons

Rules:

- Only one weapon per movie

- No vehicles or robots

- No Super powers


1. Predator: "Old Painless" Mini-gun

There are plenty of awesome weapons in this movie but none as iconic as the Gatling gun used by Jesse "The Body" Ventura.

2. Excalibur: Excalibur

Wielding this sword makes you the King of England. Nuff said.

3. Aliens: M-41A Pulse Rifle

Lots of great weapons in this masterpiece of Sci-fi, but the Marine weapon of choice is this combo assault rifle and grenade launcher.

4. Krull: The Glaive

A magical five bladed knife that can fly on command... color me impressed.

5. 5th Element: ZF-1

THE most versatile weapon ever created. Let us count the ways... Machine Gun (with replay ability), Rocket Launcher, Arrow Launcher (with exploding or poisonous gas heads), the famous Net Launcher, The always sufficient Flame Thrower, and The All-New "Ice Cube System". Oh, and a handy red button that activates the self-destruct mode.

6. Tron: Data Disk

Disks that you can throw and bounce off walls and use to disintegrate other "programs", WTF? This weapon changed the course of Frisbee history forever.

7. Eraser: Rail-gun

This gun fires projectiles at near light speed with explosive effect and has an x-ray vision scope attached to it that can see through walls.

8. Lord of the Rings: Anduril

The sword of kings forged from the shards of Narsil... blah blah blah. It gives you power over an unstoppable horde of ghost warriors! Booyah!!!

9. The Hobbit: Sting

Though not very impressive in LOTR, this Hobbit sized weapon warns of Orc attacks and kills giant spiders with a single "sting" in The Hobbit animated movie.

10. Dirty Harry: .44 Magnum

The 44 Magnum is the most powerful handgun in the world and it’ll blow your head clean off, so you gotta ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky, punk?.” As a cop in 70's San Francisco, Harry Callahan didn't NEED a gun this big, but he WANTED a gun this big so he could strike fear into the hearts of "punks" everywhere.

Hello?

Wow! It's been over a year since I've written anything here, partly because I have too many other blogs to worry about, mainly because my experiment with writing this blog completely failed.

Maybe I'll give it another go.

Randomness begins...

I can't ytpe withour looking doen at the keuboard so I wiil try to turp thud wuthout liijing at the jeybizrd znd see where that fets ne.

Not very far.

Bye.